I blame my parents. Growing up I was told I could be, do and anything as long as I was willing to work for it.

Sometimes this has served me well. Other times? 

You can see where this is heading can’t you?

It started with my 14 year old son becoming taller than me. Like way taller than me. Sometimes he comes down to go to school in the morning and I swear he got taller overnight. It’s quite disconcerting.

So while I’m glad he is growing well, he has outgrown his single bed. We had promised to get him a new queen-sized bed, but as he has the smallest bedroom and the one in most need of painting, I decided that before the new bed arrived his room would need to be painted.

There I was in bed last night, trying to work out where my 9.30am in-person meeting tomorrow was supposed to be, so I could set my alarm. The invitee hadn’t put the location in the calendar invite so there I was on my phone trawling back through emails, and then LinkedIn messages to work it out.

I then sent a LinkedIn message to said person confirming I would see them at the agreed location and time.  Two things I knew from this:

1.        The meeting would be cancelled even though the other person reached out to ask for the meeting, and

2.        It would likely be a meeting to “pick my brain” and “get some ideas” but not actually give me any work.

Earlier this week I discovered that the heated towel rail in our bathroom had decided not to work. Now for those of you not living in New Zealand a heated towel rail sounds very bougie but let me tell you it’s essential!

 We are moving into the very wet and mostly cold part of the year, and bath towels don’t dry in this weather. So heated towel rails are essential.

She told me her job is very busy and she was working ALL the hours. Getting to the office first. Still there while everyone has left. Takes work home every night, and works on the weekend. And guess what? She’s exhausted. And her husband ain’t happy.  

Who is asking you to do all the work, I said. She thought hard on that one, but couldn’t come up with a good answer. Well…..no one as it turns out. In fact her manager is telling her to stop working all the hours.

Do you need a more junior person, I asked. No she said. It’s work she has to do. A more junior person couldn’t do it.

What else have you tried, I asked. Just working more hours was the answer.

I have been here myself, and maybe in reading this you see yourself too? I have also had lots of experience coaching women in this situation, and here’s what I have learnt….